I think I’m finally getting the hang of it!

I think I’m finally getting the hang of it!

Filed under Microblogging, Selfies
Because you are precious, and should be taken care of.
Filed under Microblogging
Yesterday was my birthday! To celebrate, I’m going to take a break from all this boring old fiction and get back to something more self-indulgent exciting: tweets I wrote 15 years ago!
A lot of my old tweets were reposts of other people’s blogs, articles, and essays, or sometimes even just quotes. This one is special because the person I’m quoting is my dad:
“Home is where people get your jokes.” -Dan McCrimmon
Love you, dad ❤️
Some of my tweets reminded me of moments and ideas I’d nearly forgotten. Usually this was a good thing.
Watching an…interesting movie called “Tank Girl.” Confused, but in a good way. This must be how dogs feel.
Tank Girl is a cult classic, one of the earlier comic books to be adapted to film. Recommended. I still think “confused, but in a good way” probably is how dogs feel, but after I got stoned for the first time I decided that was a better approximation. (Watching Tank Girl while stoned would be like how dogs feel on the 4th of July.)
Some reminders were more mixed.
Last night I sewed a ripped seam in my pajamas; it was the most accomplished I’ve felt all semester. Why am I in school, again?
Honestly, sometimes I still feel like this is among my top ten achievements in life.
Re-reading papers I wrote in high school. Man, the old me was so awesome. What the hell happened?
Yeah…college did things to me.
Then there were the reminders of things that haven’t changed at all.
Times change, but people remain insane.
Sometimes the insanity is more…prominent…than others.
“Where is my watch?” *searches* “Hmm, that’s odd, I can’t find it any–oh. It’s on my wrist.” #22andgoingsenile
Still just as senile at 37. That’s…good? That’s a good thing, right?
Oh yeah, I was gonna eat dinner at some point. #oops
Oops.
This post is the final entry in a series. Start from the beginning here.
██.
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful girl. Her hair was red as the sunset, and her laugh was as light and sweet as an echo. The girl lived in a bright and colorful garden with a boy, and the boy was tall and strong as mountains, and his voice was as smooth and bright and clear as running water. The boy showed the girl the tree that grew in the center of his garden, and they laughed and played and made love in its shade, and he helped her pick fragrant blossoms to weave into her hair. And when the night grew dark, the boy led her back into the garden, and drew his arm tight around her, and swore to keep her safe. The girl fell asleep on a bed of flowers, and did not wake while the boy was away, and in the morning she followed him to the comfort of familiar things. From time to time, she would think of that place in the center of the garden, where the tree’s branches grew broad and high, and remember. But she contented herself, and never wondered, and never returned to climb those branches, and look out, over the garden’s walls.
Filed under Fiction
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vii.
Once upon a time, there was a girl. Her hair was red as a pale summer rose, and her smile was as soft as silence. The girl lived alone at the center of a vast labyrinth. Before her stood a boy, and the boy was tall and cold as stone, and he condemned her recklessness with a voice as smooth and dark and heavy as a thundercloud. But the girl found courage, and stood straighter, and condemned him in turn, for his own safety was worth no less than hers. Then the boy looked at her, and smiled a small, secret smile, and his voice was as still and bright and shining as a mirror-pond. He confessed the dragon slain, and the danger gone, and he held out his hand to the girl and beckoned to show her. And the girl looked at him, and smiled a small, sacred smile, and fell trusting into his arms.
Filed under Fiction
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vi.
Once upon a time, there lived a girl. Her hair was red as a summer rose, and her smile was as soft as breath. The girl lived in a walled labyrinth, lost and alone, searching for a secret. As she searched, she grew closer to the wide and towering tree at the maze’s heart. The tree, which from afar had seemed so lovely, grew forbidding and ominous. The grass became stiff and sharp under her tender feet, the flowers thorny and wild. They tore and scratched her skin, and for the first time she felt pain. But the girl pressed on, for it seemed that with each passing step the flowers were brighter, and the air more sweet, and the birds’ songs more lusty than she had ever known. And after countless steps, when the girl’s strides were swift and sure, and but a single wall remained between her and the tree, she discovered the boy. The boy was tall and handsome as stone, and his smile faded like bright water tumbling into a black and bottomless pool.
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v.
Once upon a time, there lived a young girl. Her hair was red as flame, and her smile was as soft and sweet as spring. The girl lived with a boy in a walled garden, and the boy was tall and strong and still as stone, and his voice was as deep and cool as the ocean. In the center of the garden grew a tall and beautiful tree, and the girl longed to sleep in its shade and weave its fragrant blossoms into her hair and climb its broad branches and look out, over the garden. But the boy forbade her, for a fierce and terrible dragon guarded the tree. The girl was afraid, but her curiosity was stronger, so one night while he was away she stole the boy’s key from its hiding place, and unlocked the gate where she was kept, and ran off in search of the tree and the fearsome dragon which guarded it.
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iv.
Once upon a time, there lived a young and beautiful girl. Her hair was red as flame, and her laugh was as clear and sweet as spring. The girl lived with a boy in a vast walled garden, and the boy was tall and strong as stone, and his voice was as smooth and cool as autumn rain. In the center of the garden grew a tree, and the girl longed to sleep in its shade and weave its fragrant blossoms into her hair and climb its supple branches. But the boy said that a dangerous and terrible dragon guarded the tree, so he showed the girl other wonders, and charmed her with words and with touch, and kept her away.
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iii.
Once upon a time, there lived a young and beautiful girl. Her hair was red as fire, and her laugh was as clear and sweet as a spring breeze. The girl lived with a boy in a peaceful and endless garden, and the boy was tall and strong as stone, and his voice was as smooth and soft and cool as autumn rain. In the center of their garden grew a secret, and the girl longed to see it. But the boy said it was dangerous, and led her instead to sparkling lakes and flowing streams, and the girl swam and played and laughed, and the secret was forgotten.
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ii.
Once upon a time, there lived a young and beautiful girl. Her hair was red as fire, and her laugh was as clear and sweet as a summer breeze. The girl lived with a boy in a peaceful and verdant garden, and the boy was tall and strong as stone, and his voice was as smooth and soft and cool as rain. But the boy was lonely, for he kept a dangerous secret, and was afraid to share it. So the boy put his secret in the center of their garden, and built thick walls around it, and never spoke of where it lay, though of the garden’s countless wonders that place was the most wondrous of all.
Filed under Fiction