Better Than Perfect

(to the tune of “Your Reality” from Doki Doki Literature Club)

[Verse 1]

Here I stare at a screen that is white and clean, and it’s mocking me

How can I turn the thoughts running through my head to reality

[Chorus]

The keyboard sits here, indifferent and silent

Just move your hand, write the way into your heart

Fit all your thoughts into place, build them up tall

Rough and unmortared, but it’s still standing strong

Rough and unmortared, but it’s still standing strong

[Verse 2]

I admit, that this wall that I’ve cobbled together’s a bit ugly

Stones hacked out of the bed of the quarry in my mind unthinkingly

[Chorus]

“It’s not done,” I say in reassurance

There’s lots to do before it will be complete

There’s holes and cracks where the wind gusts right through it

But perfect walls won’t block any wind at all

Since they never leave your head

Demolish perfect with real

Build beautiful

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Talking Into the Abyss

The abyss’ gaze is unnerving, I admit

But it is a very good listener

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Filed under Microblogging, Poetry

Startup Idea?

Cyberstalking your high school sweetheart after they’ve deleted their Facebook account is a real pain in the ass. Can someone get on that, please?

Added 2025-08-01: I was careless when I first wrote this post and forgot that cyberstalking can be, y’know, actual abuse and that making a joke out of it was in very bad taste and could be a trigger. My own sister’s been a victim of cyberstalking, so I really don’t have an excuse. I apologize.

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Let Them Play Sports

Let’s say we were talking to one of the people opposed to trans women in sports, and we asked them this: “What about cheerleading? Should trans women be allowed to do that?” Assuming they didn’t just respond with “no, trans cheerleaders would be fine” (ha!), do you think they’d bother to come up with a different excuse, or would they just continue to stick with the “athleticism advantage” hogwash?

Of course I understand cheerleaders compete too, and surely it takes athleticism to support your squadmates on your shoulders or throw them into the air to do backflips or what have you, but (bearing in mind I don’t actually know anything about the subject) I would expect cheerleading routines to be judged primarily by things like coordination, teamwork, energy, and choreography, with athleticism being a minor or secondary factor.

Not that it matters, of course. We already know that no matter what hypothetical we presented them with, no matter how far-fetched the excuse, they’d come up with something. They feel, consciously or unconsciously, that trans people are scary, disgusting, and wrong, and that is their bottom line. Everything else is rationalization, a way to feel morally superior, telling themselves they’re defending women’s rights while in fact doing the exact opposite. As others have pointed out, if any of these people actually cared about women’s sports, they would be talking about any of the many, many difficulties female athletes actually face. Being outcompeted by trans women isn’t one of them.

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Pun-induced Seize-er

  • Carpe diem – seize the day
  • Carpe carp – seize the fish
  • Carpe, free ’em – catch and release
  • Carp per diem – fish per day
  • Carp: ID ’em – no underage fish
  • Carp Aegean – fish from west of Turkey
  • Carpe me-um – please hold me

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Oh BTW I’m a Twilight Fan

Please join me in a moment of silence, as we mourn the cruel and senseless murder of the series’ best character:

Very, very convenient—too convenient—that my truck would wheeze its last wheeze just weeks after Edward and I had agreed to our lopsided compromise, one detail of which was that he be allowed to replace my truck when it passed on. Edward swore it was only to be expected; my truck had lived a long, full life and then expired of natural causes. According to him.

Rest in peace, old-timer. 😔

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Smarter

I’ve been comparing past thoughts and projects to ones I have now, and it seems like I’ve gotten smarter. I’m not sure if that’s actually true or if it just seems that way because my friends are all smarter than me and I haven’t been spending time with them. One more reason to spend more time with them, I guess!

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Microblogging

When my youngest child was about two, I turned off all my phone’s Facebook notifications. Back then Twitter was still bearable, so I lingered there a little while, but it didn’t take long for me to quit social media entirely.

It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, but there are some things I miss. The biggest and most obvious was staying up to date on the lives of people I hadn’t seen in years but still cared about, but I also missed the writing. A tweet is definitely not an essay, but the process of writing both is remarkably similar. And just like with my essays, sharing my little thoughts, jokes, ideas, and meditations publicly was much more fulfilling than keeping them inside my head, even when the audience was small.

Writing an essay may be similar to writing a tweet, but it is also a whole lot more work. Crafting a good essay was often a weeks- or even months-long process, and after having kids I simply didn’t have the time or spoons to keep at it. For a while I was still able to write smaller things through social media, but that was one of the things I had to give up when I quit.

Recently I was going through some of my old tweets and Facebook status updates, and I noted wistfully that many of them were quite good and that I missed writing them. That’s when I finally realized what should have been obvious years ago. I’d been thinking I couldn’t write tweets anymore because I’m not on Twitter, but a blog post can just as easily be 140 characters as 1400 words, can’t it? (Did you know I have a blog? You should check it out!)

I won’t be microblogging exclusively. Now that the kids are in school and becoming more self-sufficient, I’ve had more energy to devote to the big ideas, too. But as a way of dipping my toes back into the water I think tweet-length blog posts will be a great way to start.

One last note: I’ve disabled comments for now. I remember moderating and replying to them to be far too much like social media–lots of investment for very small or rare returns, yet addictive enough that it’s easy to spend hours on. If you want to comment or reply to something I’ve written, I encourage you to put something about it on your own site! (Even if your site is just your Facebook page or YouTube channel.) Pingbacks are still enabled, so I’ll likely see it.

To everyone taking the time to read this, thank you. See you out there.

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Filed under Essays, Microblogging, My Life

Blame Capitalism!

Someone else has something I want. How can I get it?

Capitalism has received a great deal of criticism, from its invention to the present day. It has been blamed by one group or another for seemingly every human evil, real or imagined, including depression, imperialism, violence, hedonism, the decline of democracy, and the destruction of the environment. Especially for the poor, the disadvantaged, and the empathetic, the common refrain seems to be “blame capitalism!” Yet blindly criticizing a policy or view is not at all the same as thinking carefully about it. It’s easy to forget that governments, organizations and policies are tools just as much as hammers and plows, despite their larger scale–in fact, that very scale makes it important to pay extra attention, especially with policies as widespread and influential as capitalism. This means considering such tools’ benefits as well as their evils, while remembering that there is not likely to be a “magic bullet” solution. Poverty, depression, antagonism and the environment are all important problems–but is capitalism really responsible? Or is it possible that true capitalist practice might actually help solve some of these issues?

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Pascal’s Wager

There is a famous theological argument known as Pascal’s Wager which, rather than making the usual appeals to morality and intuition, instead tries to show that believing in God and the afterlife is the logical, rational thing to do. While Pascal admitted that it is not always possible to “make yourself” believe in God (the Christian God, that is–what, you thought we were talking about some other God?), you should at least act as though you do until you are convinced. The core argument frames the question of whether one should be religious as a “wager” that you can’t opt out of: even if God isn’t likely to actually exist, the possibility of an infinite win (eternity in Heaven) justifies the merely finite cost of devoting yourself to religion–even if that cost is a lifetime of self-denial and asceticism. (This was back in the 1600s, when most folks thought getting into Heaven was really difficult and unpleasant, but the argument applies equally to anything a religion requires you to do that costs you time, effort, or money.)  Sounds pretty impressive, huh? Let’s go over the argument in a bit more detail–this time, with a few superficial modifications.

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