‘Cause you’ve totally poleaxed me ;-)
Tag Archives: puns
Proud
My daughter: “Hey dad, want to hear a joke? It’s a pun.”
Me, responding to my love language: “Absolutely!”
Her: “What do you call a T-Rex that’s also a sword?”
Me: “I don’t know, what?”
Her: “A dino-sword.”
Me:
Filed under Microblogging
Just to Be Clear
You? A procrastinator? Please–you’re an amateur crastinator at best.
I’m the pro, here.
Filed under Microblogging
These Ten Puns Are Supposed to Make You Laugh
- Where can you go to get a steak and a haircut? The barber-Q.
- How does a bee get to school? She takes the school buzz.
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- A rope walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve ropes here,” and throws him out. The rope thinks for a moment, then ruffles up his hair, twists himself into a pretzel, and goes back in. The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you that rope I just threw out of here?” and the rope says “Nope, I’m a frayed knot!”
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like an overripe banana.
- What do you call it when someone ogles the man behind the counter at the post office? They’s a-checkin’ the male.
- Why did the fisherwoman keep going back to the same store to buy worms? They always gave her a great re-bait.
- Why did the mushroom keep getting invited to parties? Because he was such a fungi.
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad there’s only one joke left?
- I know not everyone likes puns, but I hope at least a few of these made you laugh. I’m sorry if no pun in ten did.
Filed under Microblogging
Emo Tears Are Measured in Angst-roms
I’m starting to think some of that awful poetry I’ve been writing might actually be salvageable with a bit of work!
Please send help.
Filed under Microblogging, My Life
Pun-induced Seize-er
- Carpe diem – seize the day
- Carpe carp – seize the fish
- Carpe, free ’em – catch and release
- Carp per diem – fish per day
- Carp: ID ’em – no underage fish
- Carp Aegean – fish from west of Turkey
- Carpe me-um – please hold me
Filed under Microblogging
In Search of Secrets 