Me: *chewing*
Me: *slightly distracted by literally any other thing*
My food:
Tag Archives: funny
Why Am I Like This, pt. XVIII
Me: “All right, feeling good! Looking forward to locking in and getting some serious work done 😎”
My coworkers: *immediately gather around my cubicle to loudly socialize*
My family: “When are we going to see you again??”
My watch: “It’s literally 4:30 pm, bro”
Me: “FFFFFFFFFFFFffffffffff”
Filed under Microblogging
Would I Smooch You? A Handy Guide
Filed under Microblogging, Reviews
Why Am I Like This, pt. XVII
[window sticker]:
[me]: Let’s see…the Fs and As cancel out, so that reduces to: “ITH over ER” *satisfied nod*
Filed under Microblogging
Office Problems, pt. IV
Judging by when I’m most productive while working from home (and rested), my ideal working hours seem to be roughly 1-9 P.M.
…Do any of y’all know of remote work opportunities in Hawaii or New Zealand?
Filed under Microblogging
Alternatives to “Easily Amused”
- Highly reactive delight catalyst
- FUN-damental
- Ruthlessly efficient at being pleased
- 60 watts of light from a 9 watt bulb
- Hightened sensitivity to minor happinesses
- Fully-stocked appreciation inventory
- Cheer winner
Filed under Essays, Microblogging
Pivot?
I’m considering changing careers and becoming a therapist. With all the jobs being taken over by AI, I forsee high demand!
Plus, I figure by the time AI can take over my job, we’ll either be living in a post-scarcity society or we’ll all be dead.
It’s foolproof!
Filed under Microblogging
In Search of Secrets 
That Feel
When you leave a comment on one of your favorite webcomics and the author drops a “like” on it:
Leave a comment
Filed under Microblogging
Tagged as comments, funny, webcomics