No post today, sorry. Might put it up tomorrow instead. If not, I’ll see you all on Monday. Go give somebody you like a hug.
Category Archives: Microblogging
Massive Damage
My body hurts. That’s the trouble with making yourself vulnerable: it leaves you vulnerable. Who knew?
I suppose grief is like exercise, in that way. It leaves you sore and exhausted, and too much will destroy you. But if you can push through the pain without injury, if you can embrace it and let it flow through you instead of flinching away, you’ll come out stronger in the end.
I think the muscle grief exercises is the heart.
Longer post tomorrow. Can’t promise it will be good. Dear readers, I apologize, but you may have to indulge me a little. Thank you for your patience. I love you (all three of you) very much.
Filed under Microblogging, My Life, Poetry
Fairness
I had a different post scheduled for today, a more optimistic one I’d written last week about moving on and letting go, but my heart really isn’t in it right now so we’re taking a bit of a detour.
Even though it’s one of my favorites, I don’t often find solace in the silliest, queerest, kindest, most earnest webcomic on the internet, El Goonish Shive. But last night I did.
I was struggling to work through some very dark emotions, feeling frustrated and angry at the unfairness of a misunderstanding that had badly hurt everyone involved and couldn’t be fixed, but which I couldn’t honestly fault anyone for either. At first I tried to tell myself “well, life isn’t fair, suck it up,” but honestly I’ve always hated that sentiment. Yes, it’s true, but saying it isn’t helpful or kind; if it were a comment on one of my posts I would delete it.
Then I suddenly remembered this:
Life isn’t fair. Life can’t be fair; it doesn’t have the brains. It’s up to us to choose to be fair to each other, even when circumstances haven’t been fair to us. The circumstances don’t care, you see. But we can.
Fairness isn’t found or given, it’s made. It’s good to remember that you can always choose to make more.
Added: there’s one important thing I couldn’t figure out how to say when I first wrote this post. Turns out I didn’t need to figure it out, it was already in the next panel of the comic: “You don’t make things ‘fair’ by hurting yourself.” That’s an important caveat. Sometimes, when another person has been unfair to you, the fairest thing you can do is call them out or walk away. Be fair to yourself, too!
Filed under Microblogging, My Life
Riddle Me This
If AI is so great at language processing now, how come autocorrect is still so ducking shorty?
Filed under Microblogging
BwEoTrTsEeR
I’m still not very good at poetry, but I feel like I’ve been improving a lot recently!
Or at least I did, before I started reading Andrea Gibson. Now I feel like everything I’ve ever written, poetry or otherwise, is literal garbage. The garbage-est kind of garbage. Like, toilet paper.
Gently used toilet paper.
But…I’m still proud of the progress I’m making? If anything, I’m more motivated than ever to improve. Somehow, seeing a creator that far above my level is discouraging and inspiring at the same time.
It’s like looking across a massive canyon, a chasm that separates my ability from theirs. Surveying it, I can’t pretend perfectionism any more; every word I put onto the page is another reminder of my failure. But the flip side of seeing that gap–remembering it’s there–is that I also know it can be crossed. Andrea themself was on this side, once; they stood where I stand. If they made the journey, maybe I can too.
And of course, there are other reasons why it’s healthy to be reminded that you’re always making garbage.
Filed under Essays, Microblogging
Please, Please, PLEASE Don’t Do This
Please don’t use “lonely” to mock and insult people. No, not even N*zis. Companionship is a fundamental human need, right along with food, water, shelter, and safety. When people steryotype “loneliness” as a defining feature of disgusting incels, they alienate potential allies and push vulnerable people who are genuinely suffering into the arms of a toxic culture that exploits their suffering to perpetuate misogyny, classism, and white supremacy.
“Lonely” is not a character flaw and shouldn’t be used as an insult. If you wouldn’t use “autistic” or “triggered” or “sexless” or “depressed” as an insult, don’t use “lonely” as one either. None of those things make a person good or bad!
“N*zi,” on the other hand, is a character flaw. That one’s a great insult! “Incel” is pretty good, too! Just stick with those, please!
Filed under Essays, Microblogging
Weird Scritches, But Ok
Our pug is not very picky about how he gets attention…
Filed under Microblogging, My Life
Should’ve Called It Attention Disobedience Disorder
Me: “Ugh, [trope X] is so [gross/overdone/boring] in [genre Y]. They just fit together so perfectly to make a bad story–like soul mates, but for awfulness instead of love. It’s probably impossible to put them together and have something good come out.”
My hyperfocus: “Hold my beer.”
Filed under Microblogging
Wish I Was Here
Trike gets to sleep in on the weekends and I have to admit, I get pretty jealous.
Filed under Microblogging, My Life
Picturesque
Living in Colorado has its downsides, but I can’t quite recall what they are at the moment…
Filed under Microblogging, My Life
In Search of Secrets 