To all the drivers who accelerate when the person ahead of them puts on their signal to merge:
I hope you get crabs.
Sincerely, Me
To all the drivers who accelerate when the person ahead of them puts on their signal to merge:
I hope you get crabs.
Sincerely, Me
Filed under Microblogging
My 5 year old is currently at that stage of development where “If big sis does it, it must be the best!” My 7 year old, meanwhile, is at the point in her development where her little sibling’s attention is starting to be enjoyable more often than annoying.
An unfortunate consequence of all this wonderful sibling bonding is that trying to get both of them to stop being rowdy at the same time is like playing the world’s least fun game of whack-a-mole.
Filed under Microblogging, My Life
I’m starting to think some of that awful poetry I’ve been writing might actually be salvageable with a bit of work!
Please send help.
Filed under Microblogging, My Life
5 year old, giving me a hug: “I love you, dad. You’re such a great dad.”
Me: “Aww, thank you baby. You’re a great kid, too.”
5 yo: “I just smelled the way you would taste if I were to eat you.”
Me: “O…kay…”
Filed under Microblogging, My Life
I’ve had this hat for a long time now. My sister made it for me! As you can imagine, it gets lots of compliments.

Filed under Microblogging, Selfies
If you play with fire, sooner or later you’re going to get burned. The moral: stay away from fire.
When you light a fire, you can get burned. The moral: be careful with fire.
While cooking with fire, sometimes you get burned. The moral: some pain is unavoidable.
Some things burned by fire get cooked. The moral: not all destruction is bad.
Stop fire from spreading, feed it, it keeps you warm. Moral: some dangers can be tamed.
Pretty. Warm. Too much warmth is pain. Too much beauty spreads, kills. Learn: pleasant and safe are not the same.
…What is that?
Hot, bright, filled with color, dancing and alive, angry and lifeless, consuming and alluring and terrifying and pure. What is it?
Beautiful. What is it?
What is this?
Filed under Poetry
Remember how a few days ago I mentioned being angsty? Yeeeaaaahhh, maybe not the best time to finally look into this Billie Eilish person I’ve been hearing so much about. Or maybe it was exactly the right time? I dunno.
Anyway. Whew! She’s good.
Filed under Microblogging, My Life
My daughter has an imaginary friend named “Fighter.” (He’s the pilot for all her favorite cars and Legos and so on.)
Fighter has a sister named “I Forgot.” Yes, that is her actual name. I checked.
Maybe she plays baseball?
Filed under Microblogging, My Life
Comments
I am tentatively re-enabling comments on my posts. I’ve set myself a few rules that should (hopefully) keep me from getting sucked in. The comment policy can be found here.
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