
(No one else taught her this trick, by the way. She came up with it on her own.)

(No one else taught her this trick, by the way. She came up with it on her own.)
Filed under Microblogging
My spouse: “Hey sweetie, you get to dress up as your favorite Christmas character for school tomorrow. What do you want to go as?”
My 8yo (confused): “Christmas character?”
Me: “Yeah, like Santa or the Grinch.”
Spouse: “Or you could dress like one of the characters from The Polar Express.”
(The Polar Express is the kids’ favorite Christmas movie)
8yo (thinking): “…I want to be the train.”
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My daughter: “Hey dad, want to hear a joke? It’s a pun.”
Me, responding to my love language: “Absolutely!”
Her: “What do you call a T-Rex that’s also a sword?”
Me: “I don’t know, what?”
Her: “A dino-sword.”
Me:

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My daughter had a tantrum the other day and called me “the worst piece of cheese ever” and I think I have a new favorite insult.
Filed under Microblogging
My 7yo: “Uuuugh, this is taking forever. When am I going to get to go to bed?
Me, brushing her hair: “Hold your horses, sweetheart, I just started.”
Her: *giggles, sticks her hands in the air, as though holding something up*
Me: “…Either you’re very strong or those are some very tiny horses.”
Her: “They’re horses the size of a car.”
Me: “My goodness, you are very strong.”
Her, matter-of-factly: “Uh-huh.”
Later…
Me: “Thank you for being so still and patient. I think you can put your horses down now.”
Her, lowering her hands: “Uuuuugh, I’m so tiiiiired, I just want to go to bed.”
Me: “Hey, why are you whining all of a sudden? You’re about to go to bed right now.”
Her: “I put my horses down, so now I don’t have any patience again.”
Me: “Ah, I see. Well, in that case, maybe you should pick them back up again.”
Her: “Okay.”
Her: *goes to bed with her hands in the air, behaving like an angel*
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Filed under Microblogging, Reviews
My 5 year old is currently at that stage of development where “If big sis does it, it must be the best!” My 7 year old, meanwhile, is at the point in her development where her little sibling’s attention is starting to be enjoyable more often than annoying.
An unfortunate consequence of all this wonderful sibling bonding is that trying to get both of them to stop being rowdy at the same time is like playing the world’s least fun game of whack-a-mole.
Filed under Microblogging, My Life
5 year old, giving me a hug: “I love you, dad. You’re such a great dad.”
Me: “Aww, thank you baby. You’re a great kid, too.”
5 yo: “I just smelled the way you would taste if I were to eat you.”
Me: “O…kay…”
Filed under Microblogging, My Life