C’mon Trike, that’s just mean. At least wait until after I’ve left for work…
Category Archives: Microblogging
She Likes Vehicles
My spouse: “Hey sweetie, you get to dress up as your favorite Christmas character for school tomorrow. What do you want to go as?”
My 8yo (confused): “Christmas character?”
Me: “Yeah, like Santa or the Grinch.”
Spouse: “Or you could dress like one of the characters from The Polar Express.”
(The Polar Express is the kids’ favorite Christmas movie)
8yo (thinking): “…I want to be the train.”
Filed under Microblogging
Mal…Uh…Never Mind
Are they doing this on purpose? Am I being pranked?? How many different misspellings can they come up with???
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Office Problems, pt. III
These signs showed up in every bathroom in the building a little while ago. Who the heck has been standing on the toilets??
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Proud
My daughter: “Hey dad, want to hear a joke? It’s a pun.”
Me, responding to my love language: “Absolutely!”
Her: “What do you call a T-Rex that’s also a sword?”
Me: “I don’t know, what?”
Her: “A dino-sword.”
Me:
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Worst. Flowchart. Ever.
Can’t afford a nice birthday party for my daughter –> feel bad about being poor –> ask friends to help out –> feel bad for asking favors –> no one responds –> feel bad for being alone –> but then they do –> feel bad for feeling alone before –> …
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Mis-App
Speaking of people who should be Super Soakered, who on Earth decided it was ever acceptable to have an app with text elements that can’t be selected?
(I’m looking at you, Instagram! I know you’re not the only offender, but you’re defenitely the worst.)
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Why Am I Like This, pt. XII
Me: “Welp, I’ve been staring at my computer screen doing literally nothing all day and now it’s after 6. Guess I better call it. I’ll just text my spouse and let them know I’m leaving…and I should look at the function I was working on so I’ll remember where I left off…”
My brain, smashing through the wall like the Kool-Aid Man: “ALL RIIIIIGHT I’M READY, LET’S LOCK THE F*CK IN”
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In Search of Secrets 