Category Archives: Microblogging

Tiny Tenant

Content note: jumping spider

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Underheard

Sometimes I worry that I’m losing my hearing from listening to my music too loud. Then I do something like accidentally mute my headphones trying to turn down the volume when they’re already at the lowest possible setting, and I stop worrying.

(For an hour or two.)

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Office Problems

Dear employers: if your workplace has a cafeteria, your employees should be able to eat there for free. Why have them pay for it? They’re literally just handing a chunk of their paycheck directly back to you, except now you’ve both lost money because it’s been taxed twice.

Am I missing something? This seems like a no-brainer to me.

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Why Am I Like This, pt. IIX

Me: Ooh, I just got an idea for another “Why Am I Like This” post!

Me, after writing said post: *wastes at least 5 minutes making ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN the numbering is correct even though it does not matter and literally no one will ever notice if it’s wrong*

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Brains Are Weird

The other day I had to change my password and I mistyped part of it–then kept mistyping it in exactly the same way. I didn’t even notice until the day after, when I had to use a different keyboard.

Although, the mistype arguably makes it harder to guess, so…I guess I’ll keep it?

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For the Record

Happy National Coming Out Day!

The polyamory pride flag (the new one with the gold heart, not the hideous old one with the Pi symbol)

It’s not exactly a secret, so I don’t think it counts as “coming out,” but for the record my spouse and I are both polyamorous and have an open marriage.

…and no time, energy, or money for dating, so it’s completely irrelevant. But still true!

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Man, I Wish My Pets Would Use the Bathroom

A sign that says "Please don't allow your pet to use the bathroom in the elevators or the building and if they happen to do so you are responsible for cleaning up after them."
This is posted at my therapist’s office.

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Send Help, I’m Writing an Ode

If anybody needs me, I’ll be in the attic wearing a John Keats costume.

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Why Am I Like This, pt. VII

Me: Hmm…what if [obscure hypothetical that will 1000% never actually happen]

Also me: *proceeds to waste the next 80 minutes working out how I would respond to all the most upsetting and stressful details of said hypothetical*

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Hot Take

If your company ever releases a version of their mobile app where selecting something moves the selectable elements, the developer responsible should be shot.

I mean, like, with a squirt gun or something. Obviously.

But not gently.

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