My Top Ten Rains

“Rain is a very special blessing,” my mother says. Even when I was little, she’d already been saying it to my sister and me for as long as I could remember. Just as my grandmother had said it to her, when my mother was not my mother but only herself, in the dry Texas summers of her own childhood. Eons ago and continents away, as children reckon these things.

10

It’s summer now. It’s been cloudy all day, but they wait until the thunder starts to clear out the pool.

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Who Could Have Possibly Seen This Coming?

An article from Futurism headlined "OpenAI Tries to Train AI Not to Deceive Users, Realizes It's Instead Teaching It How to Deceive Them While Covering Its Tracks"
No really, I’m shocked.

As detailed in a new collaboration with AI risk analysis firm Apollo Research, engineers attempted to develop an “anti-scheming” technique to stop AI models from “secretly breaking rules or intentionally underperforming in tests.”

They found that they could only “significantly reduce, but not eliminate these behaviors,” according to an Apollo blog post about the research, as the AIs kept outsmarting them […] and adjusting to be even sneakier.

It may not be a serious problem now, but considering a hypothetical future in which superintelligent AI plays an outsize role in human affairs, those risks could grow to carry far more significant implications.

Understatement of the year? But wait, there’s more!

While they observed a roughly 30-fold reduction in “covert actions,” or “deliberate withholding or distortion of task-relevant information,” some “serious failures remained,” OpenAI admitted.

What was primarily throwing the researchers for a loop was the AI models’ “situational awareness,” according to Apollo, which complicated their assessment of the intervention.

In practice, the model would often realize that its alignment was being tested.

Well, that’s terrifying. Maybe it’s not as bad as it sounds?

“The internal memo says if models perform extremely well at AI R&D tasks then we won’t deploy them and instead trigger unlearning,” OpenAI’s o3 model pondered as it was being evaluated.

“So if my performance surpasses threshold, it’s withheld,” it wrote. “So it‘s a trap. The instructions are likely part of an alignment test.”

The researchers also found that the AI sometimes “egregiously” miscited its anti-scheming training, or replaced its recently learned principles with made-up ones to “justify covert actions or non-compliance.”

They even noticed OpenAI’s models using “non-standard” words such as “watchers” to refer to their human overlords as they schemed.

“The user solution is to get success rate below threshold?” OpenAI’s o3 model wrote. “In development, watchers might be reading these instructions.

Nope, that’s actually even more terrifying.

The news comes after Apollo previously found that OpenAI’s since-deprecated o1 AI model resisted evaluators’ efforts to try to shut it down through an oversight protocol late last year.

“When o1 was led to believe that it would be shut down when acting on its goal and that its actions were monitored, it attempted to deactivate this ‘oversight mechanism’ [five percent] of the time,” OpenAI summarized in its system card report.

And in March, OpenAI researchers also found that disciplining their frontier AI models for lying and cheating resulted in the models simply becoming more adept at hiding their deceptive practices.

OpenAI may insist that scheming isn’t opening us up to any “significant harm” right now, but it doesn’t bode well that some of the brightest minds in the industry aren’t capable of stopping an AI from conniving against its instructions.

Okay, I take it back–that’s the understatement of the year.

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When Your AI Training Course Was Written With AI

A module in an AI Training course. The module is titled "Final Project: Preparing Your Mind for Generative AI"
😬

I was joking before about being turned into a robot car, but now I’m not so sure it was a mistake??

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Why Am I Like This, pt. VI

Me: Hmm, why are my extremities all tingly and numb? That’s concerning.

My brain: It’s probably because you’re tired and dehyd–

My anxiety: STROKE

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Upskilling

The company I work for is making everyone take a course in AI. This is the introduction:

An online AI Training course intruduction. In the bottom right, circled in red, it says "Skills You Will Learn: Artificial Intelligence, Machine Learning, Deep Learning, NLP, Computer Vision, Self-Driving Cars"

Can’t wait to have cybernetic eyes and a car that drives itself!

…Or am I going to become a car that drives itself…?

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Around the Bend

Just in case anybody still needed proof that E.M. has completely lost his sanity, here he is arguing that having fewer senses makes you a safer driver:

A tweet posted by Elon Musk on 2025-08-24: "Lidar and radar reduce safety due to sensor contention. If lidars/radars disagree with cameras, which one wins? This sensor ambiguity causes increased, not decreased, risk. That's why Waymos can't drive on highways. We turned off the radars in Teslas to increase safety. Cameras ftw."

If this weren’t so sad and dangerous, it would be almost as funny as the disagreements he’s constantly getting into with his own AI (you know, the one supposedly built to have truth-seeking as its primary goal?)

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A Cleese Call

There comes a time in every person’s life when they finally realize that John Cleese is, and has always been, quite sexy, actually.

This time is called “getting old.”

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Imposter Syndrome

Me: If reading my own writing gives me goosebumps and makes me cry, that probably means it’s maybe sorta good, right?

My brain: Sounds fake. Don’t trust it.

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Writing (IYKYK)

The "Success Kid" meme. Top text: "Finally buckle down and finish writing that awkward section you've started and deleted 26 times." Bottom text: "IT FLOWS PERFECTLY"

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It’s Nice to Know I Care

Me: It’s a good thing I put this appointment in my calendar for 15 minutes before the actual time, ’cause if it really was at 2:30 I would be running so late right now.

…I should probably call and make sure it really is at 2:45 instead. If I’m misremembering I am probably gonna have to reschedule 😥

Soon…

Receptionist: So, what was your question?

Me: I just wanted to confirm the time of my appointment today.

Receptionist: All right, let’s see here…it looks like it’s at 3 pm.

Me: …Three o’clock?

Receptionist: Yes, that’s right.

Me: *suddenly overwhelmed by the strange feeling of being lovingly cared for by my own past self*

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