Category Archives: Microblogging
It’s Nice to Know I Care
Me: It’s a good thing I put this appointment in my calendar for 15 minutes before the actual time, ’cause if it really was at 2:30 I would be running so late right now.
…I should probably call and make sure it really is at 2:45 instead. If I’m misremembering I am probably gonna have to reschedule 😥
Soon…
Receptionist: So, what was your question?
Me: I just wanted to confirm the time of my appointment today.
Receptionist: All right, let’s see here…it looks like it’s at 3 pm.
Me: …Three o’clock?
Receptionist: Yes, that’s right.
Me: *suddenly overwhelmed by the strange feeling of being lovingly cared for by my own past self*
Filed under Microblogging
Tyler Robinson
Update 2025-12-05: A while back I revisited this story and found that subsequent evidence seems to show pretty conclusively that Tyler Robinson’s politics really had shifted leftward. I still haven’t found a good answer to why he had Groyper memes engraved on his bullet casings (of all things) if he wasn’t a Groyper, but take the following with a healthy dash of salt.
Charlie Kirk’s shooter wasn’t a “radical leftist,” he was part of an extremist conservative movement called the “Groypers.” The seemingly liberal memes and references engraved on his bullet casings are dogwhistles that the group has appropriated as a deliberate tactic to confuse their opponents and hide their true beliefs. Kirk was killed by someone who thought he wasn’t conservative enough.
Filed under Essays, Microblogging, Reviews
Irretraceable
(I had an epiphany a little while ago that I’ve been struggling to articulate. I consider this “Attempt 1;” I expect there’ll be more.)
The past is a line
The future is a fractal
Their paths never touch
But a fractal’s path
Can be everywhere at once
Passing through all points
You can’t walk backwards
But the path in front of you
Has limitless reach
Filed under Essays, Microblogging, Poetry
Scorched
My daughter had a tantrum the other day and called me “the worst piece of cheese ever” and I think I have a new favorite insult.
Filed under Microblogging
One-Sided
The abyss is a very good listener, but it’s terrible at making conversation. Every time it speaks, it’s just an echo.
I’m getting tired of the sound of my own voice.
Filed under Microblogging
Teaching Is Hard
TFW you’re writing a post titled “<popular physics concept> Demystified” and you realize your draft is 1500 words and counting and should probably be broken up into two or three separate posts and if you still want to say “demystified” you’re definitely gonna have to start over from scratch.
Filed under Essays, Microblogging
I Am One of *Those* Programmers
Content note: shoes with toes
Continue readingFiled under Microblogging, Reviews
Horses Held
My 7yo: “Uuuugh, this is taking forever. When am I going to get to go to bed?
Me, brushing her hair: “Hold your horses, sweetheart, I just started.”
Her: *giggles, sticks her hands in the air, as though holding something up*
Me: “…Either you’re very strong or those are some very tiny horses.”
Her: “They’re horses the size of a car.”
Me: “My goodness, you are very strong.”
Her, matter-of-factly: “Uh-huh.”
Later…
Me: “Thank you for being so still and patient. I think you can put your horses down now.”
Her, lowering her hands: “Uuuuugh, I’m so tiiiiired, I just want to go to bed.”
Me: “Hey, why are you whining all of a sudden? You’re about to go to bed right now.”
Her: “I put my horses down, so now I don’t have any patience again.”
Me: “Ah, I see. Well, in that case, maybe you should pick them back up again.”
Her: “Okay.”
Her: *goes to bed with her hands in the air, behaving like an angel*
Filed under Microblogging
These Ten Puns Are Supposed to Make You Laugh
- Where can you go to get a steak and a haircut? The barber-Q.
- How does a bee get to school? She takes the school buzz.
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- A rope walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve ropes here,” and throws him out. The rope thinks for a moment, then ruffles up his hair, twists himself into a pretzel, and goes back in. The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you that rope I just threw out of here?” and the rope says “Nope, I’m a frayed knot!”
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like an overripe banana.
- What do you call it when someone ogles the man behind the counter at the post office? It’s a “checkin’ the male.”
- Why did the fisherwoman keep going back to the same store to buy worms? They always gave her a great re-bait.
- Why did the mushroom keep getting invited to parties? Because he was such a fungi.
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad there’s only one joke left?
- I know not everyone likes puns, but I hope at least a few of these made you laugh. I’m sorry if no pun in ten did.
Filed under Microblogging
In Search of Secrets 