- Where can you go to get a steak and a haircut? The barber-Q.
- How does a bee get to school? She takes the school buzz.
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- A rope walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve ropes here,” and throws him out. The rope thinks for a moment, then ruffles up his hair, twists himself into a pretzel, and goes back in. The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you that rope I just threw out of here?” and the rope says “Nope, I’m a frayed knot!”
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like an overripe banana.
- What do you call it when someone ogles the man behind the counter at the post office? It’s a “checkin’ the male.”
- Why did the fisherwoman keep going back to the same store to buy worms? They always gave her a great re-bait.
- Why did the mushroom keep getting invited to parties? Because he was such a fungi.
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad there’s only one joke left?
- I know not everyone likes puns, but I hope at least a few of these made you laugh. I’m sorry if no pun in ten did.
Category Archives: Microblogging
These Ten Puns Are Supposed to Make You Laugh
Filed under Microblogging
My Daughter Is A-maze-ing
Filed under Microblogging, Reviews
Buffed Out
My buffer is completely gone and I don’t know what to post next.
I’m working on a long-form piece that I’m pretty excited about–sort of a combination of prose, poetry, and essay–but it won’t be finished for at least a few more days.
I have a dozen or so drafts I could finish, but I’m really not excited about any of them at the moment.
Any suggestions? What would y’all like to hear?
Filed under Microblogging
Why Am I Like This, pt. IV
Nobody:
Me: *joins casual conversation about shoe preferences on work chat*
Me: *sweats, heart rate increases*
Filed under Microblogging
Funny?
It always feels so weird when I tag my own posts “funny.” I know it helps readers find your stuff and it’s standard practice or whatever, and I try not to let it bother me, but it seems really presumptuous, you know? Like, how do you know this is funny, dude? Did you take a survey??
Really, it should be “I think this is funny” or “attempt at being funny,” but I’m guessing that wouldn’t SEO so good.
Filed under Microblogging
Me, Myself, and Why
It’s so frustrating when another person keeps popping up in your thoughts uninvited, just to upset you. It’s like, you want to be mad at them, but you can’t, because the only person actually inside your head is you??
Leave myself alone, jerk!
Filed under Microblogging
In Search of Secrets 