Send Help, I’m Writing an Ode

If anybody needs me, I’ll be in the attic wearing a John Keats costume.

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Poor Excuses

They say it takes money to make money: wealth compounds when you use it wisely. Unfortunately, it also takes money to get out of poverty–poorness compounds, too. Here are just a few of the things currently costing me money that I can’t afford to get rid of:

  • With my 2-3 hours of commuting per day, I’m spending roughly $400 a month on gas, because I can’t afford a more fuel-efficient car.
  • This means I can’t afford extra gas for the multiple trips across town it would take to empty out our second storage unit–meaning we’re paying $250 a month for storage we don’t really need.
  • We can’t afford to buy our own land to put our tiny home on, so we’re spending $800 a month on a lease that might go up or get revoked at our landlord’s whim, instead of investing that money in land that will appreciate over time, which we could choose to sell if we needed the money for something else.
  • …like moving to a country with a lower cost of living (and/or better LGBTQ+ protections), for example.
  • Debt. Just…debt.
  • I spend, on average, about an hour a day washing dishes (valued at roughly $40 an hour, given my current salary), because we can’t afford to have a dishwasher installed.
  • Speaking of the value of my time, did I mention my 2-3 hour commute? When we were looking for a place to park our home we found several that were closer to my office, but we couldn’t afford any of them.
  • Every time my bank account gets overdrawn, I’m charged a $35 fee–putting my account even further in the red and making it that much more difficult to keep it in the black between my next two paychecks.

For these and other reasons, we often struggle to make ends meet–even though our household income is well above the poverty line.

I am strongly in favor of the social safety net–one of the responsibilities of government is to alleviate poverty among its citizens. But our current system, aside from being grotesquely underfunded, is managed by a lot of small bureaucracies, each one specializing in a different type of need: food, shelter, health care, debt, energy, and so on. This results in a lot of waste, overlap, and inefficiency for the government; and a lot of hoops to jump through, missed or wasted opportunities, and band-aid fixes for the people in need.

This is why I am also strongly in favor of replacing much of our current social safety net with a Universal Basic Income. Poor people have a lot of problems, income alone is not enough to determine whether someone is in financial distress, and the expense that would make the most impact is not necessarily the most obvious. In my case, for example, if we account for time, uncertainty, and hassle as well as money, by far the most cost-effective intervention would be…a dishwasher!

Leave the decision of what help is most needed to the people who actually need the help!

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Why Am I Like This, pt. VII

Me: Hmm…what if [obscure hypothetical that will 1000% never actually happen]

Also me: *proceeds to waste the next 80 minutes working out how I would respond to all the most upsetting and stressful details of said hypothetical*

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Hot Take

If your company ever releases a version of their mobile app where selecting something moves the selectable elements, the developer responsible should be shot.

I mean, like, with a squirt gun or something. Obviously.

But not gently.

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Tsuyoku Narimashita!

I was in my bedroom a few weeks ago when I suddenly remembered I’d gotten a text earlier in the evening. It was from an old friend I hadn’t heard from in a very long time, but I’d decided not to check it right away, because we hadn’t parted on great terms and I was nervous about what it might say. This struck me as highly unlikely–on both counts–so I concluded that I was probably just remembering a dream.

What makes this unusual is that I came to this conclusion while still dreaming. I must be doing something right!

The benefits of rationality can be difficult to see. Just like with doctors and governments, its benefit is more in preventing negative outcomes than securing positive ones. The cost of prevention is easy to see, and it’s equally easy to see when it fails–but it’s difficult to impossible to notice all the times something bad doesn’t happen. (This is why everybody hates bureaucracy, but getting rid of it always ends in disaster.)

Unfortunately, this also means it can be difficult to tell if you’re doing rationality right–especially if you don’t have any aspiring rationalist friends to make bets with. It’s nice to see some positive results!

Tsuyoku narimashita!

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“Quote Thine Own Self, Be True”

In my Google Drive, I have a folder with one document for each year since about 2015. Each one of them contains quotes I read that year that I thought were particularly informative, inspiring, insightful, funny, etc.

Lately I’ve been re-reading some of my older essays (not my old old essays–I’m talking, like, last month’s), and I’ve found myself wanting to quote myself.

Needless to say, my internal critic had a few words about this.

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Woloomo

What I see every time I get in my car:

A small screen on a car dashboard, showing a thin, horizontal line with odd gaps and bumps.
The same line, now taller, revealing letterforms.
The line is now the word "Woloomo"
The line, now at FULL height, spells "Welcome"

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Dane-ish

Several of my friends have (independently!) told me that if I were a dog, I would be a Great Dane. I’ve always found this flattering, but a bit confusing. I thought maybe it was because of my height, or because I can be a little intimidating before you get to know me. Or maybe it’s just because I’m clumsy?

Personally, I would have picked a Lab or a Corgi–you know, sweet but a little goofy (okay, a lot goofy), smarter than I look (but that’s maybe not saying much), reluctant to fight (but will absolutely throw down if you threaten someone I care about). Great Dane kind of fits, but I sort of got the impression they were seeing something about myself that I wasn’t.

Anyway, let’s talk about something completely different!

Last week I was thinking again about how the attachments I form don’t easily fade, and really hurt when they’re severed. It seems kind of clingy–even creepy or obsessive–to still feel close to someone I haven’t seen in decades.

“But,” I thought to myself, “surely lasting attachments aren’t always a bad thing? Surely sometimes it’s good to be strongly committed to someone, even if you haven’t seen each other in a while, or if one of you upsets the other? In fact, phrasing it that way makes it sound like it could be a strength! What’s a more positive way I could describe ‘forming strong and lasting attachments to people’ or ‘staying committed…’

“Oh. Loyalty. The name for that is…loyalty.”

I think I understand better now why my friends see me as a Great Dane. They were seeing a strength I hadn’t named in myself, hadn’t even noticed except as an embarrassing liability. Loyal.

…I’m uncomfortable taking about my virtues. It feels immodest, presumptuous–indecent, even. But I’ve believed for years that true modesty requires you to know your strengths intimately, because the purpose of modesty is to avoid making other people feel bad about themselves.

Loyalty, like any virtue, can be a liability. Loyalty isn’t always deserved (many abusers keep their victims trapped by appealing to it) and a show of devotion can be unsettling to someone who no longer shares that bond. I’m guessing that a big part of being modest about your loyalty is not overwhelming the people you’re loyal to!

But emotions are always muted in writing, so I’m not too worried about overwhelming you when I say that it’s an honor to have you as a reader. I love you with all my heart–yes, even those of you I’ve never met–and I wish you the very best, because you deserve it. For as long as you remain my reader, I will remain devoted to you.

Joy and health to you all.

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Are You Sure That’s a Dog?

What is this? What even is this animal??

A scene from the movie "Lilo and Stitch" (animated). Caption: "He used to be a Collie before he got ran over."

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Imposter Syndrome, pt. II

Me: Wow, people seem to like my last post a lot. I’ve gotten some really positive feedback!

My brain: Well, you worked really hard on it. You should be proud! All that practice is paying–

My other brain: QuiT nOW, yOUv’E pEakeD

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